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Friday, November 4, 2011
#1: ... On Yelling AvenueHave you been involved in a yelling contest before? It
does not feel good. You may feel perfectly calm inside when you start talking to someone about something difficult. However,
the next thing you know, they explode and you get pulled into it. You try to keep your cool and ask the person to calm down,
but they refuse and then you have lost it as well. It all goes “south” (no offense to southerners).
How to stop this once and for all, you ask? That is what I would like to know as well. I am still working on it, but I
have some theories. Fundamentally, I believe we are wired to mimic others in order to survive in a community. This may work
against us in this particular situation. I would be surprised to find a human being who has never experienced a basic emotion
like anger. Therefore, it seems easy enough to mimic.
Next thing is to explore why we raise our voices
to higher volume. One answer could be an attempt to overpower the other person’s argument through “force”.
Another answer could be to vent our frustrations. It is something that anyone can easily do, and most likely it does not
involve a police report. What is even more disturbing is that, sometimes, these frustrations may not have much to do with
the topic currently being yelled about. It could be related to the fact that your neighbor's dog (more precisely the barking)
woke you up at 3 AM, even though you have repeatedly complained to the powers at be.
The best way in my
opinion to handle such situations is to be aware of yourself and your reactions. And, above all, to have LOTS of patience.
These hints intuitively point to the possibility of not getting pulled into the yelling part. I am not saying it is easy.
It is darn difficult to do and requires lots of practice. But… practice makes perfect. At least, that is what I have
been told. What do you think?
1:29 pm edt
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